Three Important Things to Say Before You Pay for Something

The pressure to pay and spend money comes from all avenues. Salespeople tempt you with intriguing purchases, advertisements try to lure you into withdrawing money from the ATM and family members seem to have their hands out, literary or figuratively, every time you walk in the door. Getting around these obstacles can be so daunting that many folks give up and just dole out the money to avoid further frustration.

It doesn’t have to be this way. In fact, continuation of this practice can lead to severe circumstances for your young family at a later date. It has to be put to rest as soon as possible, and this can be done through your voice. We’re not talking about yelling, insulting someone or crying like a baby. What we recommend is using two phrases and one query that will stop cash requesters in their tracks.

1. Just say no.

Nancy Regan had it right when she told folks to just say no back in the 1980s. This simple two-letter word can change the pace of a conversation or halt a request for any money. Yes, it can be followed by a question from the person asking the borrow the funds, so you need to be prepared to with an answer other than ‘Because.’ It can be simple as “I don’t have the funds at this time,” to a complex explanation with graphs.

2. Yes…But.

There are situations where you’ll feel charitable and let your family members take money from you. However, instead of responding positively and letting it go at that, you can add a further requirement with a ‘Yes…but’ answer. This can be something the borrow needs to do in exchange for the money or a payment plan they need to follow else they’ll never receive an infusion of cash again from you.

3. Answer a question with a question.

One of the best ways to get more information on what a family member or other person needs the money for is to answer their question with a question. Something in the form of “What do you need the money for?” or “Can’t you find the funds another way?” can lead to a conversation about financial responsibility and alternative ways money can be gathered. This type of questioning works best with children as they tend to come up with imaginative ways to make extra cash.

These may not work individually, which means you might have to combine two of them to stop a transaction or get the borrower to think. For example, you can answer a question with ‘Yes…But I’d like to ask you a few questions first.” Or you can answer a request with “No, because this is something we already discussed.” In the end don’t weaken and give them the money. Get as much information as you can to make a logical decision on whether to give out the funds.

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