Should You Hide Money From Your Spouse?

As a young couple, you are learning what it takes to be married and manage your finances together. This means managing a household budget and communicating with each other how and why you can save money. But, as we all know, it is never that simple, is it. Whether it’s a result of marital problems, not making enough money, or simply different opinions on where you spend your money, arguments about money come up. Issues will come up – it’s how you handle them that matters.

In a recent article in the wall street journal, it was reported that it is even more difficult to hide money from your spouse. The author of the article suggested that with the heavy reliance on technology, it has become even easier to find your partner’s hidden funds. She writes,

“Instead of having to sift through reams of paper records to find irregularities, they’re now able to use advanced search tools to analyze thousands of digital bank statements, credit-card bills and other files in the blink of an eye.”

It’s amazing to me to hear about how easy it has become to find out anything through the internet. But, that isn’t the issue. The question for me is whether you should hide money from your spouse in the first place. According to this article’s information, 58% of people in a survey answered that they hid from their spouse or partner. Say, what?! That means that if you have a spouse or partner, odds are more likely that they are keeping money hidden from you. Whether it’s for their own protection in case you separate or for some other hidden agenda, it’s hard to say. It seems to suggest that there is a problem in paradise.

While I still have an account at the bank account that I grew up with, my wife definitely knows about it. It doesn’t have much money in it, but it is an easy way for my parents to transfer money to us. This means that on birthdays or holidays, they can transfer money directly into my account and not have to worry about money being stolen in the mail. I can’t ever image hiding money from my wife because we understand that we share everything. Both of us work right now and so we understand that it takes both of us to survive financially. There are never any feelings of “This is my money,” or “This is yours…”

Because I can’t imagine the situation where hiding money from your spouse is okay, I’m curious to know what you think. Is it okay to hide money from your spouse? Or does hiding money from your spouse indicate marital problems?

7 Responses to Should You Hide Money From Your Spouse?

  1. Modest Money says:

    Yeah if you’re hiding money there are some serious trust problems in the relationship. My last relationship had trust problems and as a result I never really talked about how much I had saved up in my retirement account. If she asked I would’ve told her, but I also didn’t it to be tempting if the relationship ends.

  2. From your *spouse*? No, you shouldn’t. If you think you should, you’re not ready to be married.

  3. When you spouse thinks that earning money on the side is bad, what should you do, especially all efforts to make him/her understand the value of extra money had failed?

  4. Neil says:

    @SB – By earning money on the side, do you mean illegally, or “cash only” for tax evasion purposes? If so then your spouse it right, it is bad. Extra money is great, but becoming a criminal for a little extra isn’t worth it.

    But if you’re making extra money through legal work and paying taxes on it, then I think the answer is, even if they have a problem with it, you have nothing to hide. Sometimes spouses do things the other disapproves of, but that doesn’t mean you should pretend they’ve won the argument and then just hide what you’re doing.

    The premise of there being acceptable lies in a relationship is kind of baffling to me. Little lies turn into bigger lies turn into a relationship that either breaks down, or is stressful to maintain the web of falsehoods that have built up. Grow up, agree to disagree sometimes, and be up front about what you’re doing.

  5. Wife hides money says:

    Recently I found out my wife hides money. This is our second marriage from other spiuses however, I came into the marriage with $120k. She had nothing. I used it to buy our house. We have since short sold the house to care for her elderly mother and currently live in her home. I lost my down payment. We have three kids, two hers, t mine. She now makes double in salary what I make. We made $220k last year and I’m always low on money. We have separate bank accounts and a joint checking account. When I asked her for her PIN numbers and provided mine so we can have transparency in our finances. She refused to give them. Stating she wanted a safety net. We arguedf about it. still no pin. I took my daughter and left. My only money was now my current pay check. We have been married 9 years. Always owe taxes, I am at loss. Where’s my safety net? People who hide things, have things to hide. I never have. Transparency means everything.

  6. […] @ Young Family Finance writes Should You Hide Money From Your Spouse? – A recent study showed that many partners or spouses hide money from their significant […]

  7. […] @ Young Family Finance writes Should You Hide Money From Your Spouse? – A recent study showed that many partners or spouses hide money from their significant […]

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